20. This house is not a home...possibly.

The word home is definitely something that some have trouble defining. I know people that live on different sides of the country and are still able to say that their heart is back home here in Miami, some who say they feel more at home with their new life far away, and some even here in this city that have issues with knowing where it is they feel like home.

I guess I can say that that's becoming more of a debate for me now as well. Especially during the first week back from Boston I've felt torn apart, even after such a short amount of time because there are people and things that have become a part of me that I miss and want back. The feeling lessened a little bit after that first week of recuperation and adjustment since, but still. It's not the same anymore.

It's worse knowing that there are people and things that hold me back from going too...it's a little dilemma I'm not really able to sort out just yet.

Summer is coming soon. Already some changes then too. It just never ever stops does it?

19.

No title for this. I can't really think of anything catchy or a song lyric to describe the last ten days that I've spent. Holy mother, it's been so much. Regardless of whether there was good or bad, it all just ended so quickly. I still remember getting off the place at Logan like it was even just a few hours ago.

I've done and felt so much since last Thursday. I've also learned a lot of things about the people that live in the apartment I stayed in that I guess was good/bad to know? It's a little strange. You seriously think you know a lot about your friends and they, themselves or someone else throws something at you to take you by surprise. That's always an interesting experience.

I've also been able to get a taste of what it's like to live on my own I suppose. I mean the apartment was shared between five other people, but it was a different way to live from being in the BU dorms last year. Actually buying groceries and cooking for yourself and all that. It is a great experience that I'd like to indulge in...not yet, but soon.

Here at home, money is actually pretty tight what with working a full 40 hour week and having class at the same time, which is something I'd definitely like to change at some point but I sadly don't make enough money to merit a change of pace like that.

It's so stupid, money. It always comes back and I don't mind spending it for other people on something small or stupid, yet you can't help but need it.

Got a haircut and shaved while I was up. That was something I guess I really didn't need to mention but eh. I always think it's something fun or interesting. New look! A time to experiment! I wonder what people will think back home. I know my parents will like it. They hate the whole scruffy thing. According to other friends from back home and friends from here it's quite a good look. I know it all really depends on what I think, but whatever. I have my people that I need to impress.

Ugh, home. It's so strange that I feel like I've already made a second home in so short at time back in Boston. Maybe it's because I'm well remembered by the people that go to school there. Maybe it's because I just needed a break from being in Miami. I always feel a relief when I get out...who knows? All I know is that especially considering the extensive amount of fun that I had there (even more than my last trip if you can believe it), I've left (once again) a piece of me in Boston that I'm gonna return to find every single year.

18. Leaving on a jet plane

So the time that I've long waited for approaches. I'll be making my (hopefully it'll stay) annual trip to Boston for Spring Break to visit old and new friends. I've never been more excited this time around, because not only am I staying longer that I did the last time, but I'll be hanging around a whole new area of Boston and the Massachusetts Bay area that I don't think I ever saw in passing the last time I went.

There are also new acquaintances to meet with too. That's always been a great thing. I've probably mentioned it before and you've definitely seen it before that I take a heavy value on my friendships. They mean a lot to me, mostly because they relate to me and my interests and I don't like to associate myself with people that wouldn't do for me what I would do for them. Obviously this might seem a little crazy, especially if its people I've just met and won't really speak with on a regular basis....but still, good to know more and more people.

And all these new things and people I'm going to see and meet are great too, but then I can't help but get the feelings that people get when they leave things behind. Sure I'll be enjoying myself spending long nights out on the town, playing video games, and just vegging out in the apartment I'll be staying in...but I'll be away from home and my friends down here as well. I don't doubt that they'll make amends without me being there (they always do), but recently we've been spending a lot of time together. Probably very close to almost every day, save a few days for the weekend. Some of them took a weekend trip to Orlando this past weekend and it felt strange to not have them around, even if it was just as a failsafe if plans that I had made went through.

Does this seems to be a little bit emotional of me? I can openly admit that its true. Just because I had set out to make these changes that I specified at the beginning of the year to become a new me, doesn't mean I can't reflect and think as well. It's all a part of the learning and changing process. It doesn't change because we all really do learn something new every day. And that's fine by me. The more I can learn from books, movies, music, and experiences in my future, past, present, the better I can consider myself to be. It's my opinion of myself and mine only that matters, so whatever helps me to make me feel better is nothing but beneficial. I've had plenty of self-esteem issues in the past that I'd like to stay away from for good.

Enough of the contemplation. My flight is now coming later today (technically). I need to be happy about it. And I am, because I spent a night out with my friends and people that care about me. I could never ask for anything more.

To those that I'm leaving behind, I know you'll be fine without me while I'm gone. It would be stupid of me to assume otherwise, and probably even stupid for me to have that thought in the first place.

To my friends that I'm going to visit, here I come! I hope to have the time of my life there once again, so be prepared to take me to places I've never been and to show me the time of my life. I'm ready for it.

17. Playing the sweet tunes

So I was actually going to check out my friend's band here at a club on Saturday. Lemme tell you, these guys are actually very talented and they know how to start a party. Sadly there weren't many people there, but they sure made it worth everyone's while.

I'm not here to talk about my friend's band of course. That would be too...conventional(?) of a blog post for me to write. You know "Situation A happened and I had a good time. kbye". I was actually thinking back about when I met that friend of mine. He was very knowledgeable about music and very open to it, which is always a good thing for me. I like to think I come from a strong musical background. He had actually asked me if there was some stuff that I play because he was looking for someone in his band, and for the life of me I can't remember what it was exactly but I turned him down because I wasn't able to make the time with school and work.

Now I seriously regret it.

I was watching them just go to town and love it up there, and I thought about how much I would have loved to be up there doing that same thing. I think about how I enjoy playing for my friends at our little get-togethers and stuff, and I see how much happier and good I would feel if I could get people to sing along to my stuff, memorize my lyrics, and come to see me no matter how many times I was in the area.

Is it the fame that draws me to it? Nah. Fame is whatever and it drives people to retardation. I'm in it for the music all the way. Local bands have the most fun. They can party here all the time, and still make their money or whatever it is that drives them. They have their creativity in check and are in control of their lives to an extent.

Would I want to make it to the big time? Well it all depends on where things actually go, were I actually in a band or whatever. I've been saying a lot recently that you can't plan so much for the future. You just need to think of something recent and follow it wherever it takes you.

Hell, if I were to think about a place to start for my "music career" or whatever, there's a place where I can play on Monday nights with just me and my guitar. Like I said, something to just take and run with.

Just a little thing I wanted to bring up.

Album of choice?

Sondre Lerche - Duper Sessions

A guitarist with a bit of a jazzy thing going for him. This older album is a lot more chill when compared to his latest album, but it's all good. Enjoy that.

16. The things that make you YOU

I was actually able to get things all sorted out a lot quicker than I expected, so here goes. It's a big group of things so enjoy.

Oh and excuse the terrible formatting. This took me forever, so I hope I can be forgiven.

These are the people and things that make me who I am today, the ones responsible for my changes and the things I need to keep it up.


These are my dogs. The girl pug just had a litter of puppies that are going to be two weeks old next Monday. Her name is Bella.








This guy here is Butch. He's the youngest of my three dogs. He's also the father of the litter of puppies. He's my own personal dog as well. I take care of him and feed him. I'm glad to call him my own, although he's not the smartest dog there is.





This is Sam, he's the oldest and the biggest. He's always very friendly and very caring. He's nothing but a big joy to have around the house.




I include my dogs because they've always been an important part of our family. We love to take care of all our animals and they always return the love and care. I can't imagine how things would be without these guys running around the house, panting.

My coworkers. So many of them to name, but they have made me a much better person and have taught me a lot of things throughout my time working there. They're the reason I don't complain when I wake up in the morning to go to work. They even make me consider working there for a long time, post-education. That's crazy. Here they are.

From left to right, Javi. We call him Chamo. Very good at what he does. Next is David, excellent taste in music and movies, and knowledgeable in more things than one. Next is Jorge. I'll get into him later. Lastly, is Lucas. He is still a student like myself, but he has extensive hardware and software knowledge. Hard working, and always willing to help.





This is Steven, he's a coordinator for our team, and one of the many who has come from a background at Best Buy tech or Geek Squad. Always sure to give his two cents on anything you ask. Likes old school gaming. That's always a plus.







This is Richard. Laid back, but hard working. He's cool people to know. I've had plenty an interesting conversation with him, and plenty a joke with him. He knows that I mess with him the same way I mess with everyone else.






This is Mark and his girlfriend, Yasmary. He's not a part of the team anymore, but he has helped and taught me a lot more than most, and I'm still learning from him. I know he has more to teach, and he's definitely someone to keep in contact with for a long time to come.



This is Jorge, once again. He's the coordinator for my team, and I haven't met a more laid back adult in a long time. He might still be in school, and still living with his parents...but if I can get to his age and enjoy myself half as much as he does I know I'll be a lot happier.


And this is the big guy. Papa Bear for the whole team. Josh. He is the coolest boss I have ever had and he never seems to disappoint when it comes to doing his best for making the workplace a lot more fun for everyone. He is the model example of a boss, and a friend. I hope that if I progress to a position like his in the future, I can be the boss that everyone likes to have around. Just like him.



Now for the bigger group of friends. These are the guys that made the world go round for me.



If you can ignore the total douche bag thing I'm doing in this picture, let me introduce you to Lydia. One of my newer acquaintances, but one of the most valued. I've been able to find a special connection with her like I find with all of my other friends, and I say that with the utmost sincerity.



This is Josias. He is one of my good friends that I've come to know since I first started college. I have been taken classes with him ever since and now he is also one of my co-workers. Thanks to him and my other friend, Alex, I've been able to maintain some part of my sanity in school, in the workplace, and just life in general.






This is Alex. He's another really good friend of mine that I've been associated with since the beginning of college as well. Again, he is a co-worker and he's more the big techie of the group. Always trying out something new just to see how it works..or to play a prank.









This is Cindy. She swears she's the favorite, but she does have a special place in my heart. I've known her since halfway through high school and I couldn't think of anyone else to run to when I want to be told the straight up truth and called a dumb ass. She keeps it real, just like a friend should.






This is me with the girls. From left to right, Janely, whom I've known for way too long to even get started with all the things we've done and seen together. Next is Catherine, who along with Gloria (far right) have become better friends strangely after high school than in high school. These girls like to poke fun and keep me in check and I'm glad I have them around.




And this is the trio of trios. Named the Geo Trio by others, but no names can describe these other two guys here. From right to left, we start with Danny, in the darker shirt. He's been in the "group" since 6th grade and he's come to be one of the best acquaintances I've ever had. Never held out on me or anyone else, and always willing to lend a hand. Last but most certainly not least, Geo. This guy has been there through thick and thin, best and worst, and never falters. I've known him for fifteen years and he is hands down the best best friend anyone could ever ask for, and he knows it. I hope everyone can find a friend as good as him at some point in their lives and stay as close as we have. Nothing separates us, everything brings us together.

So there you have it. Just another big part of my life that I want to introduce you guys to. Just thought it would be cool to work on these things that make me happy and give me inspiration.

15. Looking back at me.

The day begins anew once more and I have really nothing to say, other than it's about damn time. I don't want to get into too many details but there are things that have been a long time in the making and fruition. Things are finally coming to light. Maybe it might actually instigate some changes for once. Maybe if things change this time around, they'll stay the same.

That's always been a difficult thing to do, maintain the changes that we've all wanted to make or have made. Even since the beginning of this year I've made changes in my life, and before that who knows how many things I decided to do for myself to make myself a better person in the long run. We all have our moments of regret and regression to the way things used to be, because for just that one small second, we let things slip and they go awry.

We are human.

We cannot completely change who we are.

We are capable of making mistakes that we've made in the past.

Can they be forgiven? Of course. Should they be?

...mother of all questions right there.

Aside from all that noise, I was actually taking time to look over my photos and I was able to find some photos of things that I've seen and people I know that really just describe where I come from and who I am today. That's gonna have to wait though. I gotta compile pictures with everyone and make sure that I have the definitive list for today. Until then...

Album of choice? Hmmm..

Incubus - Fungus Amongus

Definitely one of the more unheard of Incubus albums from their earlier days. It's a little bit different for the people who are fans of Make Yourself, Morning View, and even S.C.I.E.N.C.E. Incubus has had so many different styles over the last ten years. Yes, ten. Fungus Amongus was re-released under a major label in 2000. It first came out in 1995 and Incubus keeps on rockin' it. Enjoy Incubus (I wonder how many people will catch that).

14. The present is a gift and I just want to BE

The only thing I can see that's really backfired on me in the long run is my effort to maintain a social life. Sure it's all well and good, but when do I need to just take a break? I've been coming home no earlier than 10:30 for just about every night for the past two weeks I guess? A night at home just seems like too big a change in pace. I just woke up from a nap that I didn't expect to take while I was watching a movie. Am I really so exhausted that just being in my bed watching a loud movie can put me out of commission so to speak?

I know that the weekends are for relaxing, and I just leave that for one day out of the weekend. Sunday is my day of repose and relaxation, mostly allocated by default because it seems to be the day of least activity for me. Maybe its not enough. Maybe I'm just not used to it, and all I need is just a little more time to get adjusted...

...but damn I'm tired.

Got my music I guess, whether its a song to put me to bed or keep me goin' at night. Should be enough for me.

Album of choice at the moment, by the way:

Common - Be

One of the reasons I think R&B and rap might actually get to the point where all of it will be decent and enjoyable to listen to again.